Beowulf & Grendel

Beowulf in his brand new armour
Hrothgar emasculated by post modernity

Beowulf is an ancient Anglo Saxon poem, dating from about 1,000 years ago (give or take a century or two). Its a mystical saga about a young warrior hero from the lands which are now southern Sweden and his battles gainst three antagonists; Grendel and Grendels mother in the lands of the Danes and later in Sweden; a Dragon.

'Beowulf and Grendel' is a strange post modern story of a hero filled with self doubt and questions, who meets a twenty first century, humanist witch whilst hunting a 'troll' but who eventually finds redemption in honouring his dead enemy.

Frankly, the film is an utter waste of time. I can't even wrap this criticism into some nicely worded phrases because the bottom line is, it stinks. Iceland is not Denmark. Danish kings in the fifth century did not embrace christianity. Grendel is not just a misunderstood man. Fifth century Scandinavian warriors did not have expensive armour like chain mail. There is no witch called Selma in Beowulf, nor does Grendel father a child.

Beowulf is the hero of an Anglo Saxon epic. I don't care how many morons this film was meant to educate or entertain, you can't just cut and paste an Anglo Saxon epic into a post modern story and expect it to work. It doesn't. Its forlorn, predictable and utterly boring and whats worst of all is the few people who might actually want to see a dramatized version of Beowulf, and who might forgive some artistic licence in the visual department are left disapointed by the vast liberties taken with the story.