Ashes and snow

My heart is like an old house whose windows have not been opened for years, but now I hear the windows opening...



Without any doubt, this is the most sensual film I have seen in over a decade. In almost every moment of its one hour length, the beauty of the images was pulling at my mind and whispering, 'wake up'.

I don't know who Gregory Colbert is. I've never heard of him. Apparently this film is only part of a larger project which involved the largest solo exhibition ever held in Italy and after being shown in a twelfth-century shipyard in Venice, went on to several venues around the world. I don't which I am more jealous of, the beauty of his work, the opportunities he must have had to make this film, or the fact that he had an exhibition in a twelfth-century Venicien shipyard. (Deja vu just struck me)

When I was living in Liverpool and Rochester, I had a frame of mind then which I have long since lost. This state of consiousness was the result of seeing the world as opposed to just looking at it. I'd been blessed in Liverpool with tutors who knew what they were talking about (and how often have I regreted leaving Liverpool for Rochester!) and their lessons taught be the ability to actually see the world and all that was in it. With time, the vision faded though. Reality does not permit clarity of observation. Pain numbs all, and I am no exception.

Watching this film, I suddenly remembered that previous state of mind. It was like listening to Beethovens 9th and mourning one's lost innocence. I wept tears for the beauty which can never be held. The past is for ever gone, the future for ever unknown. Time is always now. I've lost so much in the last few years as I tried to cope with my ever shrinking world, more than I ever realised. Now it feels like I am that old house and my windows are opening. I have just caught a fleeting glimpse of something which I'd forgotten even existed.




I set myself a dead line at the beginning of 2008. All my previous projects must be put aside and from March 1st, a new era of my life begins