Just one of those days...

The sun is beginning to shine already in Denmark, and considering its only March, its both a bit scary and yet welcome. I'm so tired of the miserable weather and being cooped up inside, not least because I've been coughing and all stuffy in my head since like, christmas! And this is something which happened last year and the year before that. On wednesday I was at the hospital and the doc asked me if I wasn't allergic to anything. I thought about it the rest of the day but couldn't think of anything... until I came to note some small black spots on the refrigerator which I hadn't noticed before. Now, this building we live in is pretty old, a hundred years or so I believe, and we live on the top floor so the walls are thinnest up here. This means we get some problems with condensation in the winter and this last year its been worse than ever with the window sills all grungy and mold springing up all over the place. Try as we might, its not easy to get rid of. In fact its impossible. We have a machine to get rid of the damp in an effort to stop this stuff from spreading but it doesn't make a big difference as far as I can see.

So there I was, fetching some food and suddenly I realised there was a black mold in the fridge door seal which had ruptured. Being such a totally paranoid hypochondriac I refused to touch it, and waited for Mette to come home so I could ask her opinion. She immedietely cleared it away, but I'm not happy. I want a new fridge! Suddenly I've come to understand why I'm so messed up every year from January to April. Its the damned fungus!!! Oleg's had similar problems too, though and I get the feeling that the mild weather we've been having in recent years may be causing a lot of similar problems here and there. Its certainly something I've been hearing a lot about in recent years.

Today (Friday) was a grandparents day at Freja's day care and my parents turned up there to scare the life out of the little children. It was grandparents only so I didn't arrive until it was time for the Snoos to come home, at which point I saw my Dad, standing in the street, looking quite dapper in a dark jacket and smoking his pipe. Its odd. He had a moustache since I was born until very recently, but now I'm so used to his 'new face' that I can't remember what he looked like before. After we'd fetched Freja we sat out on the roof terrace and soaked up the sun. As weak as it was I still needed my sunglasses (which made Freja stare at me in suspicion). The place looked like a bomb had gone off though. All the crap lying about from last year and the winter through lying about it seem pretty shoddy and I think we need to clear a lot of that stuff away. It looks like a tip!



Its good to see the sun out though. I'm looking forward to getting out and about on my bike. All this EVE is not good for me. The other day, some one (was it Mette?) told me that Danes suffer from vitamin D defficiency because we don't get enough sunlight. Given that I sit all day long in a darkened room, staring at a flat screen, I could well believe it. I took some bottles over to the recycle station today (500 metre round trip) and broke out into a sweat! Sure the sun was shining but even so!

I had my headpones on as usual and the Stone Temple Pilots had me nearly singing and dancing but I restrained myself and just mouthed the words (with a bit of air guitar at one point). I went past the café at the end of Munkegade and the guests, sitting out on the pavement all stared at me as if they'd never seen any thing like me. Any one would think they were the secluded nutters and I was the dazzling socialite! One of them even pointed me out to her boyfriend as if to say 'look! a guy singing to himself!'

The trouble is though, EVE is still fun. The game is immense, intense and a barrell of laughs. My corp mates are fun, their is a sense of Esprit de Corps there that one just doesn't find in real life, and I know its escapism, but I don't care. As my friend Vicky points out reality is just a crutch for people who can't handle sci fi.

During the winter this addiction wasn't such a big deal but I don't want to be sitting in doors staring at a screen all the time, no matter how alluring EVE is. I'd also like to get back to making images, but I'm still being distracted and the emotional pay back just isn't kicking in any more. Without an audience, art is no more interesting than picking my nose. I tried to explain to Mette why this was, but I hadn't stopped to think about it much. It has something to do with not caring with people who don't appreciate what I've done. There is an aspect to creating images which reflects a desire to share... something. Whether its a shared pleasure or a transfer of funds is all much the same thing I guess. As long as I'm stuck in my insular world then I'm afraid I'm not going to be making any images any time soon.