Freja: the Dancing Snoos

Two days have passed since my mothers funeral and I'm still exhausted. The burden of emotions has been immense and I think my body is now demanding some serious 'de stressing'. I have my floor mat out and I'm doing stretching exersizes (not yoga!) as I've been told to do (from several sides) and hopefully I'll be back in form soon.

In the mean time the Snoos has found herself a new dance routine (watch the dog below) and we've been having a good laugh at her. Our friend Malene is due to give birth (to a daughter) next year and I'm looking forward to seeing our daughters grow up together. Thankfully Freja has no idea of whats been going on, though she has figured out that something has happened. Farfar (My Dad) has been getting an awful lot of extra attention.

In loving memory of my mother

Jennifer Anne Christensen.
1947 - 2007

She died this day, at 11:28. Quietly, peacefully, surrounded by a family who will miss her for ever.

I've always loved the above picture of my mother in her typical English post war clothing because it shows her as a beautiful, happy and innocent little girl. Aged 7, before all the hardship and misunderstandings of life took their toll. A portrait of her true character, the child within.

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Moominland Midwinter

The irony of your comment Rozniy is that as a child, I always identified with Moomintroll in the book 'Moominland Midwinter' which was one of the first books I ever read. I saw direct parrallels between me and my life as a ten year old boy (I only learned to read at age nine) with the Moomintroll awaking to find himself alone in a dark and silent winter world . I think this childish perception must be a common one for Hans Christian Andersen tapped into it with his story 'The Snow Queen'.

Characters in 'Moominland Midwinter' took on deeper significances for me. I began to identify people around me with characters from the story. Sometimes directly, other times symbolically. My friend Føns, with whom I fell in love but could never have became Snufkin (the dear friend who is always absent). My mother became, the Groke;


She seeks warmth and fire, but is unable to do anything but to put them out. Although she has a scary appearance and is dangerous to get close to due to the cold that she's radiating, she's not really evil... Just very lonely.

This last twenty four hours I've spent either catching up on sleep or sat beside my dying mothers bed. Sat beside the Groke and feeling every emotion under the sun as a child plays with building blocks. I was called in to the hospital this morning at 8am because my mother had had an anxiety attack. Since I last saw her on the 14th, she's deteriated rapidly and I expected her to die any time. She didn't and now I'm at home, my mind in a whirl of memories and conflicting emotions. I don't know whether to laugh or cry or howl at the moon. I feel like one of Dante's angels caught in the maelstrom and cast helplessly about.

As a child, growing up, I often hated my mother. It wasn't that she hit me or treated me bad, she was just that huge, dangerous entity who would later become The Groke in my child-mind. The empitome of the winter depression that I've suffered from my entire adult life. The insomnia and fear of an imagination that like Saurons eye never sleeps... More irony now that I think on it since I used to draw the udjat glyph as a sort of signiture back in the days when I signed all my work 'Ré99'.

I suppose every one, in some way projects their emotions onto the world around them. I just happened to do it using Tove Jansson's novel.

The only clarity I have from all this is that my turn will come too one day. Sooner or later I'll be the one lying helpless and dying and whether its fast or slow, painless or painful, the one and only thing that is going to matter is whether or not I have the comfort of looking back at my life and knowing it was a good life and the strength I hope that conveys. I have to hope that love is the answer for its the only answer I have. My mother is dying a good death, though slow and painful and sordid in its details because she is surrounded by people who despite all our differences and petty squabbles, love her.

In the mean time, my mind is floating in a kind of abstract daze but my body is like a clenched fist. I am in no doubt that I am going to pay for this when its over and done with. I can feel the stress building up inside me like a time bomb and my never-sleeping-imagination is conjuring up layer upon layer of private perdition in anticipation.

moif: 38 years today.

Matt Damon, who is about the same age as me, was heralded by People magazine as the sexiest man alive in 2007 because his "irresistible sense of humour, heart-melting humility" and "rock-solid family man" status made him the logical winner. I might not be the sexiest man alive, but I reckon I can compete at some level as a family man.

Election day bitterness

The results appear to be in now, though they are still counting and it looks like a victory for the government. I voted as usual and I'm some what happy to say, for the first time in my life, I actually voted for the side that won.

I wish I could say more than I was 'some what happy' but I can't because the election is not enough to occupy my mind. My mother returned to hospital yesterday and the prognosis is dire. I'm told she may have mere weeks left to live. My brother Philip was with her today and I shall be there tomorrow. I feel numb for there is much to say but so little that can really be said. I dread tomorrow for I know what is going to happen.

And life must go on, and thats half the horror. How does an agnostic say good bye to his mother?

The Bourne Identity

By Robert Ludlum.

I've only read one other novel by Ludlum; 'The Road to Gandolfo' and that was a long while ago now. I remember the book as some what old fashioned and quite dull, but readable (compared to some of the other books I've read).

I quite liked the Bourne films, mostly because I like the pace and the music. I'm not too sure about their credibility though so I decided to go back to the original source and read the books. I bought the trilogy and I'm working through them now. Surprisingly, I quite liked the first book. Its very similar in style to the Gandolfo book, but it feels like Ludlum put more effort into this one.

Of course, the story has very little to do with what I saw in the film. The movie makers took only the bare bones and built up their own story around the central concept of a super agent who loses his memory after being shot and dumped in the Mediterranean sea. They also kept a few names and places along the way, Marie, Abbott, Concklin, Europe, but every thing else is different. Marie is not a drop out German, but a Canadian government official. Treadstone is not a CIA operation and Bourne is not a super spy from post Cold War Europe.

What really stands out though is what they cut out. In the books (written just a few years after the Vietnam War) Bourne is an agent trained in Vietnam, out hunting the famous terrorist Carlos 'the Jackal'. I can understand why they cut Carlos out of a contemporary film and I'm grateful because, as I suspected, despite a parallel plot, the book is a very different story from the film. Carlos in particular dates this book. He's one of those weird Cold War characters who just keeps turning up in various books and films like a bad penny. The real Carlos was a left wing terrorist who carried out actions for the PFLP. He got called 'the Jackal' by the media after a copy of Frederick Forsyth's book 'The Day of the Jackal' was found in his possesions. I think I'll read Forsyths book after I finish the Bourne trilogy. I've seen the film (not the awkward remake starring Bruce Willis but the 1973 original starring the Edward Fox) so why not read that book too!?.

Carlos was a genuine example of life imitating art. Ludlum describes him as the ultimate terrorist. Trained by the KGB yet independent. Able to out smart both super powers and commanding vast resources. Operating out of Paris he chases Bourne through out the book whilst out playing Treadstone. Unlike in the film Treadstone takes a very back seat position in this book. Its the biggest change the fim makers made. Instead of high tech US counter intel services chasing a rogue agent, we have the Americans left as by standers whilst Carlos and Bourne play cat and mouse.

Apparently there is another film adaptation of this book starring Richard Chamberlain. I wonder if that film is based closer to the original story?
4/5

Cannibal!

Alternative link.

Currently listening to:

Danmarks Radio...

Denmark goes to the polls on Tuesday so in the last few days the news has been hotting up with all the usual bickering and finger pointing going back n forth. Today then, as we ate dinner I watched Danmarks Radio's news coverage of the latest 'scandal'.
(DR is the Danish state media corporation).

First came a story that the social democrat politician named Henrik Sass Larsen who is running for the job of deputy prime minster had been leaking vital info to the opposition during the last election. So far, no big deal, until DR began to interview three different 'experts' who all made the point that Venstre (the larger of the two governing parties) was behind this 'American style smear campaign'.

Now, I expect DR to be partisan. Its par for the course. Like the BBC, Danmarks Radio is funded by taxes and a 'license fee', so DR likes governments which spend lots of tax money. The more the better. Its no surprise to learn that many of the employee's at DR are either left of centre, left wing or extreme left wing (moon bat style).

But, WTF planet do these people live on? How stupid are people in this country if they can't see the socialist smear campaign thats been ongoing for the last two years! We've seen demonstration after demonstration with the red banners out flying and the Arafat-scarf-wearing autonome spoiling for their street fights with the police and now suddenly, Venstre is the party engaging in a smear campiagn? As if!

If you need any confirmation of where DR's bias lies, you only have to look at how this story is portrayed on the DR news site where the Prime Ministers asserted lack of knoweldge, not the actual story itself on the matter is the head line. I can see the DR editor now "Bah! Who cares what the story is, lets see how fast we can make this stick to Fogh!"

I'm not even going to vote for Venstre who are so pro EU they're most probably going to sneak in the new EU constitution (the one thats disguised as a treaty) without a referendum so I'm not going to defend them here. They can lie in their own bed. My rant concerns the crypto communists at DR. The same people who send me bills for their shit TV propaganda then try to spin the news to make the socialists look squeaky clean whilst running Naser Khaders election campaign for him.

After these 'experts' had finished laying all the blame for this 'smear campaign' (and they had all of TWO examples of why it was a 'campaign'), DR got back on track with a story about 'Muslims moving into the suburbs'. Immigration is another big issue these days and if there is one group the left wing hates more than the government, its the nationalist Dansk Folkeparti. I watched the story in its entirety and concluded that this was a story about nothing and so why was it being shown? A family of Muslims were shown cleaning up a house they had bought in some suburb some where. The parents were interviewed and they said, 'they were moving into this house they'd bought'. The Journalist from DR then also made it clear to the meanest understanding that these Muslims were 'moving into a common Danish suburb just like any one else might do'... and that was the whole 'story'; Some Muslims acting like normal people.

It is not lost on me that the whole point of this non-story was to tell people not to vote for DF, because 'Muslims are in fact normal people' ...some of whom just happen to believe in submitting to an invisible god who commands them to slaughter the infidel kuffar. The fact of the matter is, no one in this country is blind to the fact that Islam is here to stay, but if we were to believe DR, then there are no Muslim terrorists currently on trial in Danish courts, Pia Kjærsgaard is the real threat to Denmark, Osama Bin Laden has a 'point about America', and actually George W Bush and the CIA might have destroyed the world trade centre...

Do you think I'm joking when I say people at DR think Bin Laden has a point about the USA? I'm not. I've seen it with my own eyes. The most jaw dropping example came on Sept 11 of this year when a DR current affairs show host explained to his colleage that when he saw the twin towers being destroyed, his first thought was 'Finally! Some ones giving it to the Americans' at last.

Was he fired? Reprimanded? Told to apologise or even just to shut the fuck up?

Nope.

Anyway, the next story really made me laugh. Police stations in the inner city districts of Copenhagen are apparently in such poor condition that a police man (not any one important you understand, just some guy in a uniform) could point to a broken chair and some mold on a wall in some dark cellar room as evidence that the government has been lax in funding the police!!!
The joke here is that the reason why the Copenhagen police are short of funds is because they've just had to deal with several years of the rioting left wing street fighters who call themselves the Autonome as well as an unprecedented increase in terrorist threats against targets in Denmark by Muslims extremists.

The Autonome are like Hitlers brown shirts, except they prefer black hoodies. You find them where ever there is a significant socialist opposition or having a fine time at any top level international political meeting (they're the ones outside dressed in makeshift armour and throwing bricks at the police, torching cars and destroying the proporty of ordinary people in the cause of The Revolution). Usually they justify their violence by blaming neo Nazi's, but when these are not directly available they just go after any one who is a capitalist since they appear to make no distinction between the two. In the current election campaign they've been going around Århus putting stickers over the eyes of DF politicians labelling them as 'racist'. Naturally, this smear campaign has been completely ignored by DR.

I can just imagine the outrage if some one stuck stickers on the various Muslim candidates (90% of whom are on the socialist list) labelling them as 'terrorists'.

DR's run of 'election news' ended with a poll that showed that the majority of Danes, with 49% of men and 66% of women wanted to see Danish soldiers immediately withdrawn from Afghanistan. To my knowledge this is the first time such a poll has yielded so negative a result with regards to Afghanistan and the timing with regards to the election is more than a tad suspicious. Its not so long ago that the socialists were labelling Afghanistan as the 'right war' and Iraq as the 'wrong war'. Now Denmark has pulled out of Iraq, Afghanistan has suddenly become the 'wrong war'. So what changed?

The next story was about Pakistan. It had nothing to do with the election except that DR made sure to include a few references about Musharref being a US puppet that left one in no doubt that the Denmark, due to the government's involvement with GW Bush was some how at fault here also.

The whole news was dedicated to making the government look bad and in these last few days before the election takes place, the bias was obvious. Usually DR are better at concealing their left wing tendencies, but in the climate of the last two years riots, confrontation and left wing agitprop, they've been slipping of late. No doubt they've gotten all excited.
What set me off (and why I'm ranting on my blog) was the direct accusation, based on two very dubious examples, that the government was taking part in an 'American/Republican style smear campaign'.
We've just witnessed two whole years of the socialists deploying every resouce they have to make the government look like bad. They've used every tool in the book, from caricatures of Pia Kjærsgaard (the nationalist leader) to full blown revolution style street fighting against the police.... and I'm supposed to believe that the government is responsible for a smear campaign!

So, want to guess who I shall be voting for...?

Survival of the fittest

I thought these were so funny I had to post em!

Artist of the Month: Mihaly Zichy

Never heard of him right?

Mihaly Zichy is that rare thing, an Hungarian Romantic. Naturally such a creature has not made much of an impact in the great placid lake of western Euroecentric art, but an impact was made. He gained the attention of the Russian Tzar who made him court artist for example. Fortunately for Zichy, he was not around when the revolution came and he had all the freedom and luxury of life in 1870's Europe, settling in Paris and churning out daring art that 'scandalized the authorities'. How easy that must have been for an artist who is mostly remembered today for his erotic sketches.

Its these sketches, which alas due to the terms of my blog I am not allowed to show, first brought Zichy to my attention. Naturally, I have a collection of old fashioned pornography (and when I mean old I mean 1800's old) , that which we now term 'erotica' so as not to tar it with the same brush as modern photographic pornography. I say naturally because I am a good natured pervert, and I appreciate both sexual images of human beings and a good firm line. By this latter I am refering to the quality of the artists hand. That which my tutors in Liverpool refered to as 'draughtmanship'.
His composition is fairly decent and his use of light (see below) is impressive considering the monochrome quality of the medium employed. He was also as you can see very 'daring' for his time.


Like so many other Eastern European artists of his generation and immedietely there after (I am specifically thinking of Alphonse Mucha) his genius went unremarked during his time in Paris most probably because there was just so much competetion and in that time notions of what art was were in constant flux (the bullshit meter was all over the scale). The romantics soon found themselves pushed aside by the photographers to the left and the abstract drama queens to the right. Whilst Alphonse Mucha eventually returned home to work on his 'Slav Epic', Zichy returned east to become a commercial illustrator, apparently doing a lot of biblical work. He died in relative obscurity in 1906, at about the time Mucha was in the USA vainly attempting to break into the big time.

Return of the Snoos

Having spent the week end at her grandparents, Freja has returned to her doting parents today. It was just as well too as we were starting to have withdrawal symptoms. Above is a video of the Snoos dancing I made for 'Uncle Krikke', its quite large.

Freja has had a great time with her grandparents. Moofar (her maternal grandfather) took her to a shopping mall where they spent their time riding the escalators and elevators before tucking into some chips (fries) and ice cream. All unhealthy as can be but well, thats what grand parents are for!

Its good to have her home, and though she's only been away three days I swear she's picked up fifty new words!

Guards! Seize them!

The Takshendal project slowly crawls ever onwards. I've put the buildings aside for the mean time as I have to get the various figures I need painted. This lot will be the wall guards, though later they will be modified into Teutonic Order foot soldiers (the purpose for which they were originally bought) by means of a single black stripe across their shields to form the Teutonic crusifix heraldry. At some point in the distant future I'd like to play a campaign based on the Order Teutonica and these figures are a step towards that end. I need to buy and paint more of them but for now, these guys suit my schemes perfectly.

Next up are the civilians. I've been collecting civvies for a while now and I've bought every single one I could find over the course of the last few years (except those by Foundry Miniatures which cost a bomb). Alas, this only comes to some 44 men, women and children (and 3 royals) most of whom are in dubious attitudes and none of whom actually fit the early Rennaisance period. 28mm gaming figure manufacturers don't have much of a need for civilians I guess so I must make do with whats available.

Comments

The bastards finally found my blog so I have activated the comments word verification thingy. Sorry for any inconvenience. I'll probably deactivate it later on.