...some Christmas images.

Julenissen

Mommy helps open a big present

Peeking through the branches

Gathering at the table

...and so it was Christmas

The wave of sickness spread across us like a tide, unstoppable and indifferent to our petty animal desires of good cheer. Despite our best precautions and self imposed quarantine, we still managed to infect seven of the nine family members who came to hold Christmas Eve with the Snoos. Thankfully the assault on their bodies did not take effect until after the big day was over and we managed to have the most perfect evening, just as I had hoped for.

Even though my body went into a psychosomatic shock at the sudden arrival of every body at once, I was profoundly pleased to see them all. In attendence were my parents and Mette's. My brothers Peter and Philip and Peter's wife Bettina, and Mette's brother Christian... or is it Kristian? I can never remember the exact spelling (who, like his father is also known as Momme). Alas, we missed the ever lovely Maja (Christian's GF) who spent the evening with her own family in København, and looking at that duck, who can blame her!

Naturally, Mette's Mom, who is a dab hand at making traditional Danish foods, brought her own duck, but horror of horrors I never got to taste it. I had my usual helping of my mothers flæskesteg (a pork roast which my family has adopted as our traditional Christmas meal) then had no further appetite. Later I would rue my misfortune but to no avail. The moment was passed and the evening moved on to the dancing and presents. As can be expected as the sole member of her generation in either family, the Snoos received so great a bounty of presents that at one point she almost disapeared under the mountain of wrapping paper which seemed to hold more of her interest than the gifts themselves.

I gave her a Hawaiian style kimono (which Mette found on the net) and I shall post pictures of it at some point in the future.

Alas I have but the one lousy picture of Lil Pip for in my absent mindedness I completely forgot to take pictures. Thankfully, Christian took some and I hope to be able to post those at some point in the near future. In the mean time he came down with the dreaded infection and spent the next several days in a state of sordid indisposition before hastily returning to London to assail the mountain of homework he had yet to begin before he fell ill. (Good luck with that my young pseudo-brother-in-law! Don't let the bastards grind you down)

The above picture shows Freja dancing around the tree which was put in the centre of my room, for this was the only place which could accomidate our dancing and singing, for by Mette's stated wish, we did indeed dance about the tree, singing Danish Christmas songs just like (I suppose) people did in the past.

This is probably going to become a family tradition, as is our making of confectionary and decorations. Only I made the decorations this year, but I hope as the years pass, Freja will join in (actually Oleg's son André made a few decorations as well).

Mette's amazing confectionary creations.

My some what squalid and unappealling efforts... (including the 'brown banana', which despite its horrible appearance, actually tasted very good).

I had a great evening and was very happy to be host to our first ever Christmas as an extended family. I don't know what will happen next year (maybe another baby will have arrivd into Freja's generation by then.... I can only hope so) but I would gladly play host to another such Christmas eve!

Also, thank you to every one who sent me a Christmas mail, or dropped by one of my many net haunts. I hope the new year see's us all bright eyed and prosperous!

Quarantine

...it just gets better and better. Every Christmas I come down with some sort of illness or other and this year has been no exception. Freja began to throw up a few nights ago and the next day she had a loose stomach (as its called). Amazingly this didn't seem to bother her at all, so when Mette and I began to exhibit the same symptoms, I didn't immedietely think much of it.

It didn't take long however for my body to make clear to me the extent of this bout of viral infection for after just a few hours we were both prostrate with upset stomachs, loose bowels and the smell of vomit hung in the air. Not being able to keep anything in we have both been utterly miserable, though as a man I was naturally far more pathetic than Mette. Whilst I lay in bed with extreme pains in my abdomen, Mette took care of Pip, clothed, bathed and fed her and generally got on with the day.

I excuse my pitiful performance with the fact that since I already have an illness of the intestines and since its not more than a few days since I was straining under the surgeon's hands, I am less able to deal with the added burden of this new illness, but the fact remains that Mette did everything today, despite her pains and discomfort and I did nothing.

So, for now we are all down with a virus of some kind and hoping it passes in time for the christmas gathering of both families for Freja's first ever christmas at home.

Freja: 16 months old

Having become confined within the flat of late, and subjected to the miserable rainfall and darkness of the encroaching Danish winter, decent photo opportunities of the Snoos have become rare. Yesterday (by which I really mean Wednesday) was her 16 month birthday and try as I might I could not get a decent image of her for not only was my mind distracted by my health worries, but Freja herself is become some what unphotogenic with a constant sheen of drool and snot decorating her lower facial features. To make matters worse, her palid winter physionogomy reflects the camera's flash making her face look like a ghost, who saw a ghost.

Happily her state of constant drooling infection has spared her mood and she appears to be the same happy child she was at the end of summer. Though we have been witness to a rise in temperamental outpourings of anger, these I believe, reflect the influence of her peers at the day care centre more than a natural inclination towards petulance. Of late her interests can be summed up very quickly, eating, going shopping with Mummy, fiddling (with any and everything) and of course, watching her Pingu DVD's whilst sitting in her box. As you can see from the official 16 month image as well, her box is very popular, especially when complemented by a second box!

Når, det er længe siden jeg har haft lyst til at skrev noget på Dansk. Jeg finder at jeg flyver som en fugl på Engelsk men halter som en gammel pingvin på Dansk. Her på det sidst har jeg heller ikke haft det for godt, men nok om det for nu.

Snus'en har haft det sjøvt i dag. Hun har haft besøge på vuggestuen af ingen ringe end Julemanden! Mette var med men hendes foto kundskaber end endnu være end min dansk færdigheder og det var ingen billeder af Freja med... men når du kommer forbi kan dualtid se de vido kilp hun tog. Det går ellers som det plejer her i Århus. Vores kær veninde Malena har ikke haft det for godt på det sidste da hendes bror er blivet alvorligt syge og det har påvirket os begge to ret meget at se hende så trist. Det er også svært at stå så magtesløs over for livets gang.

Freja er lidt forkølet, som altid nu om dage og har været sig selv. For det mest af tiden er hun enten i god humor og leger og ser Pingu, ellers er hun sulten og vil har opmærksomhed. Ganske som alle andre Dansk børn tror jeg. Hun har haft nogle 'tur' om natten men for det mest er hun okay. Stakkels Mette bliver vågnet mange gang, og jeg sover mest på sofa'en nu om dage, men det har ikke så meget med Freja (eller Matte) at gøre. Jeg har bar ikke haft det så godt.

Good news / bad news

Readers of a squeamish (TMI) disposition ought to avoid reading this post!

Over the course of the last few months I've had a small pain in my groin (just above my left testicle) that has increased steadily in intensity. Naturally I went to see my doctor and he prescribed antibiotics on the assumption that it was probably an infection but it quickly became aparent, through lack of results, that this was probably not the case and As the weeks stretched into months I became increasingly despondent as the prospect of having cancer loomed ever larger in my mind. The reason why I became so convinced of this self diagnosis was due to two factors. My dread of the illness which has slowly and inexorably killed so many people I know, and my Mother, who happily treads where fools fear to (never mind angels!) One of her friends has been diagnosed with testicular cancer and given half a year to live and these glad tidings she freely made available to me when I first began to feel the pain. Her friend had only discovered his affliction when a pain began in one of his testicles. As you might imagine, with my ready pessimism, I was unable to disassociate my pain with the possiblity of cancer and the burden of this possibility has weighed some what heavily on my mind in recent weeks.

To make matters worse, a friends brother has recently been diagnosed with advanced luekemia and has been rushed into immdiete chemotherapy. He is a middle aged man with three small children and the parrallel betwen his life and my own was enough to set my fears clanging like church bells in my mind. The thought of dying now and my daughter, who is but 16 months old, growing up with no memory of me was very hard to bear.

So, yesterday I went to an urologist who performed an incision to widen the hole at the end of my penis (to add to my worries, this hole had 'shrunk' of late) and stuck a camera up into my bladder to take a look. He found nothing and pronounced me healthy, but the pain of this experience was something I had not anticipated. After all I'd been given a local anesthetic and felt nothing when the incision was made. To examine the bladder however required it to be pumped full of water and since a penis is not able to seal itself whilst containing a camera, this liquid was forced out of my body giving a sensation not unlike that I would imagine being effected by a stream of lightning. To say it hurt is to describe the sun as 'bright'.

I staggered home and spent the night in a state of mild shock for the worst was yet to come. On Monday I'd been subjected to a blood test and now I had to await the results which were due Thursday morning. Needless to say I spent most of the night trying not to think about the horror of a positive result, and thankfully EVE provided a welcome avenue of escape. At 09:45 this morning I called my GP and after an agonising wait for him to find the results on his computer I was relieved to be told the test proved negative. "In fact your blood indicates you are very well put together" he said.

"Tell that to my testicle" I almost replied, though despite myself I was immensely relieved as can well be imagined and merely thanked him.

Thus my good news is, I do not have cancer and the bad news is, I still have a mysterious pain in my groin (steadily getting worse). My next adventure will involve (I am told) an MRI scan. If it proves as 'painless' as the bladder inspection, then I look forward with dim anticipation to a very unusual experience...

How to Dismantle an Atomic Bomb

U2.

Its so rare I buy any Cd's these days which is a shame since I love new music. Since its coming up to Christmas though I felt I needed yet another gift for myself, I was actually feeling a bit rebelious as well so I bought this album as a download from MSN.

Yes, I'm a dirty traitor, I know, giving money to 'the machine', but in my defence, I know what its like to be an 'artist', and I actually feel bad inside when I accept art without paying for it, even if its music. Its a mental defect I have no doubt but I actually don't like downloading music for free. I used to use Kazar, but one day I got rid of it because I couldn't bear the thought of stealing from people who, though they have way more money than me, are still kindred spirits at some level.

People want art but they just aren't prepared to pay for it, and I think its this attitude that helped kill my urge to create imagery. I got so tired of being screwed that I feel bad about screwing others in a similar way.

So, okay, Bono and the lads aren't exactly starving, but thats besides the point, its the principle of the thing and for as long as I can still afford principles, then I'll stick to them. Its about me, not them.

It's not as if I don't have enough art to entertain me a thousand times over already anyway. Novelty is interesting but its never enough anyway. The inner primate always wants more.

So anyway, I've been listening to U2's latest album all day and I like it. Its classic U2, easy to listen to, grooves nice n easy and has a few really good tracks on it. The best track has to be 'Vertigo' (though I saw the video and that sucks) and I've been singing that one with new lyrics:

'Hello hello, I've got a feeling like Pipski Po'.

Excellent stuff.

Freja throws a wobbler...

One of the things we can never agree on is, what colour eyes does the Snoos have? Most people say brown, but they usually look blue to me. A close up reveals the truth! They're Snoos coloured!

These are for Philip who likes the 'art image'. As you can see in the first my hair is growing out again and is now in dire need of being cut back again. I haven't had curls since I was twenty one. The other day my Mother in law called me curly top and I chuckled. Once uponn a time I would have been mortified. Today I don't give a fig for what people think I look like. I've finally been liberated from that that primate fear of being judged ugly. I am ugly and I love it!

Dad offers good advice, but the Snoos is not impressed

Irritated and tired, she starts to loose it....

...and begins head banging a chair.

This doesn't help much so Freja casts herself to the ground

and throws a serious wobbler

Artist of the Month: Egon Schiele

Time for an older favourite now. Usually I stick to contemporary artists, but this time we're going back into the past with good old Egon Schiele, the Austrian master of the figurative. Too bad he died young for the quality of his line, and his choice of subject was without peer. Even today, with the mass of commercial artists who have followed in his wake, only a very few have ever come close to the economy of accuracy and total honesty that Schiele had. You only have to look at the above image, the line across the belly and the deliniation of the rib cage, the shape of the muscle's in the thighs, all perfectly described with the barest minimum of effort to appreciate Egon Schiele's genius.

The strange thing is, there is nothing especially difficult in what Schiele did, people draw like this every day in life drawing classes now, and it was social convention which had to be broken down, not artistic convention. Schiele seperates himself from the mob however, even today, by the finished quality of his work. Even with the barest minimum of detail he manages to describe his subject perfectly leaving a beautiful rendition of the human form that would grace the wall of any establishment that had the courage to display it.

In the image below, Schiele shows he was not restrained by any desire to replicate the human form exacty though. He drew what he saw and he wasn't afraid of exageration, neither in form or colour. If only I could find that courage!

And if any one is offended by these images, then I suggest you broaden your mind and accept the human body for the form of beauty and desire it surely is.

Revelations trailer

EVE online has released a trailer for its latest upgrade: Any one curious can find it here.

Christmas decorations

Spent most of today (actually yesterday since its 4am here) in a childhood bubble making paper cut out christmas decorations in preperation for when we have the family's over. So far I've made Santa in his sleigh (still missing the reindeer), a christmas tree, an angel/fairy, three nisser and a dog.

For those of you who do not know what nisser are, let me explain. In Denmark, we have discoverd that Julemanden (Father Christmas) is not the only person to bring joy and happiness at Jul. As it happens there are many small people, called Nisser, who sleep all summer (or go on holiday to other countries) in the attic, or other forgotten places. No one knows how big they are, some people say they are about the size of your thumb, but others say Father Christmas is himself a Nisse, but one thing is for sure. These little sprites come out at Christmas to ensure a good time is had by all. Most are cheerful and ready for a laugh (they are terrible tricksters) but some are more reserved, and even grumpy. They have few inhibitions and eat, drink and tumble about with gusto and their favourite meal is said to be risengrød (rice pudding) with a fat dollop of butter on top.

Essentially they are elves... or maybe gnomes.... or possibly pixies... or something else entirely. They seem to stem from Danish folk lore and have a strong flavour of the old agricultural Denmark about them (they still wear wooden clogs and very old fashioned clothing)

Of course most adults and teenagers don't believe in them, which is why they fail so often I guess. Kids know better so naturally they have a nicer time at Christmas.

The Ring of Bright Water trilogy

'Ring of Bright Water', 'The Rocks Remain' and 'Raven Seek thy Brother'

By Gavin Maxwell.

The 'Ring of Bright Water' was one of those titles which always held a certain allure to me in my earlier years. It was often quoted as a classic by adults when I was a child and happened to mention I liked otters. Actually otters were, and are my favourite animal of all. They are beautiful, funny and apparently eternally cheerful. They can swim better than most fish and to my delight I've seen them do so in the view tank at Aqua Freshwater Aquarium in Silkeborg.

These books detail the life of a Scottish naturalist and author who in the 1950's and 60's looked after and raised a number of otters in Scotland. The books start well with Maxwell's first otter Mijbil being adopted in southern Iraq and eventually arriving in Scotland, but the otters gradually move into the background as the books progress and they become more about the hard life of the author who seems to struggle against great adversity. I was hoping the books might be as inspiring and charming as otters themselves are, but rather I found them to be a bit depressing in my current state of mind.

3/5

moif world update

Been generally feeling low of late and as a result I haven't been in any state to write anything here. In fact I've spent most of my spare time playing EVE, and debating stuff at AD and ignoring the world at large. Christmas is approaching and every year I suddenly remember that I actually hate Christmas. This year I intend to do things my way for once and hold Christmas at home. I'm really looking forward to having just the three main days as Christmas and to hell with the rest of it. No doubt I sound callous, but most every year Christmas has been scene to some ridiculous drama or other and I'm sick of it. Also, of late my various ailments have been giving me a lot of problems and after 13 years of this affliction its really starting to wear me down now. I don't know how much longer I can keep going without surgury.

Being constantly awoken by the Snoos hasn't helped much either. In the last two weeks she's gotten ever more craving and apt to start crying when she wakes up. I really miss the days when she'd wake up with a big smile on her face.
Starting day care and the winter darkness has really changed a lot since those blessed days.

Currently Mette and I are sleeping in the living room since Freja has a tendency to wake up around 4am, see us lying asleep and start up the sort of screeching one might normally associate with dying animals (or Nazgûl). Can't say I mind sleeping in the front room though. The Snoos is a notoriously light sleeper and the slightest creak or sigh, or even just the rustle of the bed clothes can set her off so its a relief to be able to go to bed without having to worry about making any noise at all.

Apart from that, she is coming along very well. At 15½ months she is fully mobile, almost speaking actual words (just a few) and has a cheeky sense of humour when she's in a good mood. She loves to hug and gives out lots of snotty kisses. She gets on pretty well with other people and so far hasn't reacted badly to any one, Apart from us, her favourite people seem to be her Mormor (maternal grandmother) my friend Oleg, and Mette's friend Malene. Of these she's see's Oleg the most, but reacts to Mormor the most. Its clear to any one there is a common feeling between them.
Really though she seems to like most people and is only shy for the first minute or so on meeting most strangers. She's also started to make less noise when Mette dops her off at the day care.

No pictures this time I'm afraid. I have taken some, but I've not gotten around to formatting them for the net... been too busy exploring the latest EVE upgrade and playing with my Cyclone class battle cruiser, (and boy is she a beauty).